So it is what it is, learn from it what it is that you are supposed to learn, and let it go

It is very fitting that I chose not to write the conclusion to the It is What it Is Series until all 25 stories had been published.

Life is not a fairy tale

How do most fairy tales end? “And they all lived happily ever after.” The End. But in the real world this is not true. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, honourable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” This statement got me thinking about how all my life I was trying to find happiness externally, through others, for example, through a fairy tale. But I have realised that if I found my purpose, and how to be of service to others through my purpose, my happiness would naturally come with this and from within. The lessons I have learned and the experiences I have had, have made it possible say “so it is what it is.”

A chat with an old friend

This morning before I started to write I went to see an old friend, an attorney, who I haven’t seen in nearly three years. We had drifted apart during the debacle surrounding my mother’s death and her estate, and there was a time when we found ourselves on opposite sides of the fence. He contacted me because it had come to his attention that last week a sequestration order was granted against me at the request of one of my creditors.

For a moment the news stopped me dead in my tracks. Why now, why after all this time, when, had they done it sooner not only would I have had some assets for them to repossess, but it would have taken what has been an almost unbearable burden off my shoulders and I could have started over again sooner? Was this to make me feel like this was the final nail in my failure coffin, to nail me down and tie me to the feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and failure for ever? These are feelings we all experience from time to time, however fleeting and momentary they may have been, every person has felt them at some time.

My badges of honour and medals of valour

As he finished speaking I realised that I had worn my failures as badges of honour, medals of valour so to speak, acknowledging and using them to show that I had survived whatever life had thrown at me. I understood that revisiting my life experiences from start to finish these past 63 days, since my 50^th birthday, has been another journey all on its own. A journey of catharsis, easing my pain, and there has been a lot of pain. A journey of self-centeredness, of centring myself and understanding the lessons I had learned and applying the learnings, so that I don’t make the same mistakes again. The most profound part of this journey though, was to understand how I had worn the badges of honour and medals of valour as a reminder of every single mistake I had made, every failure that had crossed my path, as a remembrance of my survival, but not of my beginning to thrive. It was if I used every one of them as a rod to spoil my own back with.

The good, the bad and the ugly

I chose to share my story with you, the good, the bad and the ugly, because so few people do. They will share the success they have made with a smattering of the failure for good measure, but mostly they like to gloss over this time and these experiences in their lives. Why do they do this? Because, we are at heart emotional beings driven mostly by fear. Fear of judgement, fear of scorn, fear of ridicule, fear of failure, fear of retribution and fear of embarrassment, and to all these fears I am not immune.

Throughout my story I have shared with you how so many people had so much to say about me behind my back. I have only written about those who impacted most on my life. However I know that there were many others who in my darkest hour maliciously and cynically judged me. They had no idea of what I was going through, what I had experienced, how my mind worked, nor what my paradigms around life were. Not for one minute had they walked even a few steps, let alone a mile, in my shoes.

Tell it all and tell it true

In being open, honest and transparent, I have told it all and told it true. I have replaced my fears with love, faith and confidence.

I have been to places and done things that a woman should never have to do to survive, and I have been emotionally and sexually abused. I have been at the lowest end of my humanity, I have been afraid, I have been bullied, I have been manipulated and I have been laughed at, ridiculed and scorned. All of this created a reality for me around what I was not. Sharing this with you has allowed me to realise that when I released, let go of, Who I Am Not, it created the opportunity for me to reconnect with Who I Am. The removal of What Is Not allowed for What Is to resurface and I made my acquaintance with it again. What is now perfectly clear to me, is that because I have created phenomenal success before, I can and will do it all over again, and on a much grander scale this time.

I was born to be successful

Every day Chris and I read together a Chapter from a book that we are masterminding. One such book that we come back to over and over again is Bob Proctor’s You Were Born Rich. A few days ago we were reading Chapter 5, Expect an Abundance and this has to be the best explanation ever for knowing your success will come.

An elderly, wealthy gentleman being interviewed by a newspaper reporter was asked at what point he became successful. His answer was, “I was successful when I was sleeping on a park bench because I knew where I was and I knew where I was going.”

A fresh start

Writing my story and sharing it with you afforded me my fresh start on an emotional level. Receiving the news today that I have been sequestrated has in its own way afforded me a fresh start on a financial level too. Whilst this sequestration order will now bring to an end years of abusive telephone calls and interactions with my creditors, attorneys and debt collectors, this financial status brings with it its own set of stringent conditions which I have respect and honour, and respect and honour them I will.

As I close out the series I am in my safe place. I am sitting on the veranda of the farm house, on the little farm in Africa on which we rent our home. For those of you who know me, I am not the Suzanne that I was, nor will I ever be that woman again. I have claimed my power, I know exactly what my future looks like and therefore I am able to be fully present in each moment and enjoy life for the phenomenal experience that it is.