It’s very apt that The Law of Attraction is very prevalent in the Love Realm.

There are two things that you need to know about The Law of Attraction in that it works in following ways:

You attract what you focus on and You attract what you are

These are two strong statements, but I have experienced this over and over again. I shared 5 different stories with you around my family that outlined my background and the paradigms that had been formed deep in my subconscious mind as a result of my environment. Your paradigms flow into every aspect of your life. I repeated the cycle according to my paradigms in my relationships for 25 years. Every time I started a new relationship, I subconsciously employed one or two of above in order to attract a partner. Each relationship as a result was serving a need within me, whether the need was a healthy one or not.

Over the years I have spent a great deal of time reading and researching Self-Help techniques, and although I applied them in certain areas of my life I took a long time to realise that my love life was a shambles. If you have read or watched my Nature versus Nurture, or my repeating the cycle piece, you will already know that I had a pretty skewed paradigm towards relationships of the romantic and sexual kind.

I am going to share eight relationship experiences with you enroute to, and including my finding a successful, loving relationship and marriage. These experiences are raw, honest and as objective as I can be. In some cases I am the damsel in distress and in others the villain of the piece. You see everyone has both sides with in them, and it took a lot of pain and growth to become the Queen of my Destiny.

When I was 17 I had had enough, I wanted out and I wanted away from everything about my mother, I rebelled in my own way, I quit school got a job and started to make my own money, but it wasn’t enough, I wanted out of the house too. Growing up the way I did my focus was on NOT being like my mother, and NOT being dominated and bullied and having my life controlled by someone else. Through my job I met a young Air Force Helicopter Engineer, he was handsome, charming and I was instantly smitten. Not realising it at the time, but now using that wonderful science called hindsight I was setting myself up to repeat the cycle. I could say that it takes two to tango, and that birth control was both our responsibility, but the force of my desire to get out was stronger than the force of common sense, so during a time when I had been on antibiotics and oral contraception at the same time, I fell pregnant with my eldest son.

We did the respectable thing of the time, being the 80’s in a conservative South Africa, not marrying would have been quite scandalous. We went on to have two children in total, and whilst we had some good times in our marriage we were not suited at all. My then husband was exactly like my mother. A strong and dominant man, he had very specific opinions about everything, especially about how I should think, feel, look and behave. It was like living with my mother. I was so desperate not to fail as she had in her marriages that I held on for dear life to a relationship doomed to fail. It was no one’s fault in particular, he had his faults and so did I. he was demanding I was too submissive, everything he did I allowed as I didn’t set boundaries because I was desperate for us to succeed. Being a handsome man he had an eye for the ladies, and in spite of my efforts, my needs, and my despair at the time, it ended.

This was an incredible rocky time for me, and this was another defining moment in terms of my self- image, worth and concept, in that I added this experience to my Gestalt of emotions connected to heart ache, pain, sadness and guilt.

I was 26 years old divorced with two children. How had I managed to achieve everything that I didn’t want, what was it about me that I had attracted this? These questions remained unanswered until my mid 40’s, and the cycle repeated itself only in different ways until this time.

It doesn’t matter how old I was when I came to the realisation and changed my behaviours and paradigms, what matters is that I did. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are as you read this, what matters is that you can change the pattern, break the cycle and have the real relationships you desire.

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Having read The Real Law of Attraction hopefully the truth around what you attract has hit home. You attract what you are and so if you are constantly attracting people, events and results which you don’t want in to your life, personally and professionally, then it’s surely because those people, events and results are there to teach you something about yourself, about your most prevalent mind-set and about your most dominant emotions. If you’re an angry person most of the time then maybe, just maybe, this might explain why you have and experience so many anger-related situations and circumstances in your life right now?

Question:

Were you aware that you attract what you are and if you were, what have you changed and what are you doing with this this knowledge to attract goodness in to your life?

Exercise:

1. What unwanted, emotionally charged circumstances are playing out in your life right now?
2. As you think about them, what’s the powerful over-riding emotion which they all have associated with them? Name it please.
3. What’s naming this emotion telling you about your relationship with this very emotion?
4. Given that like attracts like, what are these circumstances telling you about yourself?
5. Do you want these circumstances to persist or do you want them gone?
6. Do you understand that before any changes happens around you, you first have to change yourself, your mind-set and your vibration, as only when you do this will you no longer vibrate with, resonate with and therefore attract, these events?
7. Only you can change yourself, so instead of trying to change everyone around you, why not just let them be?
8. Why not take your eyes off them and begin to focus on changing yourself in to someone who attracts happiness, health, wealth, peace, prosperity, joy, riches, abundance as opposed to all the opposites of these?

My profound lesson:

How often haven’t you heard it said that “Oh, I married my mother” or “Yes, I married my father – all over again.” When I got married, I married a man who was my mother all over again. Why? Because I’d not learned the lessons that I needed to learn from her, so they were to be presented to me all over again, through someone else – simple as that. I use the above examples merely to highlight this fact – as much as you may have disliked your mother or your father, now that you find yourself “married to them yet again” only in a different shape and form, what you need to know and remember is they’re merely mirroring back to you that you haven’t yet learned your life and spiritual growth lesson with and through them. Today I can see that what my mother and husband were trying to teach me, in a painfully convoluted way, was that I matter, that I have choices and that there’s no need to ever allow myself to experience fear, anxiety or distress at the hand of another. When I do, I am giving away my power to them, I am making myself small and insignificant.

As Rumi says – “I am not just a drop in the ocean, I am the entire ocean in an drop”

Therefore I am limitless and believing that I am limitless means that I now attract and expect to receive, peace, prosperity and abundance, not fear, lack and scarcity. It’s a mind-set and expectation thing.

To your success, with love

Suzanne.